Jessica Simpson Is As Dumb As She Looks
December 22, 2009 | 01:00 am
posted by:
perezhilton
Jessica Simpson had the brilliant idea to post this lovely video of her ear fucking a candle on her Twitter.
This all came about after Jess' BFF hairdresser Ken Paves (he's the one that has that obnoxious cackling laugh) told Simpleton that sticking a lit candle in her ear would help remove ear wax.
And not surprisingly, Jessica "is Chicken of the Sea chicken or fish" Simpson believed him!
We're more impressed by the fact that the candle didn't go all the way through and come out the other ear.
If you can stand to lose a few hundred brain cells, watch Jessica in all her dumb blond glory in the clip above!
P.S. CLICK HERE to "follow" Perez on Twitter!
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Russell And Katy Keep Each Other Warm
December 22, 2009 | 12:45 am
posted by:
perezhilton


Awww!
Russell Brand and Katy Perry were seen out together in London grabbing some coffee and snuggling in the streets.
This sure doesn't indicate any trouble in rainy paradise. It also helps that Katy took to her Twitter yesterday to assure everyone that she doesn't "do vampires."
Ouch! Kind of a burn for Robert Pattinson, but we're pretty happy to hear it.
There two are just too damn adorable!
[Image via WENN.]
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Lyrics Monday.
December 21, 2009 | 05:31 pm
posted by:
alohawolf
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The V Word, Mia Kirshner Joins CW Show
December 22, 2009 | 12:30 am
posted by:
perezhilton

Mia Kirshner of both The L Word and 24 is joining The CW's hit show The Vampire Diaries in a recurring role!
She'll be taking on the role of Isobel, "the sweet-yet-dangerous wife of Matt Davis' history teacher, Alaric."
Her first episode will air on January 21.
What do U VD fans think of the new casting decision?
[Image via WENN.]
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But What He Really Wants To Do Is Eat Act!
December 22, 2009 | 12:15 am
posted by:
perezhilton

How embarrassing!
Kevin Federline is taking his career into his own hands. Too bad he has no effin idea what to do with it!
If you are looking for a last minute X-Mas present, take a swing over to the bargain bin at Blockbuster to pick up the latest straight-to-DVD American Pie installment. It stars none other than K-Fed himself!
Got to start somewhere!
K-Fed plays a Canadian border guard for the flick! (Look how he squeezed into that uniform above!) He enjoyed the experience so much, he is hoping to get more work! In a desperate plea recent interview, Kevin said:
"If anybody has any more cameos – or actual roles they want to me in – that would be great."
We wouldn't hold out for any those "actual roles" anytime soon! Stay in contact with those American Pie folks though! You never know how many more of those shit-flicks they'll make!
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Gasquet Cleared Of Cocaine Allegations!
December 22, 2009 | 12:00 am
posted by:
perezhilton

Lucky break because it's sounds like his story could be a bunch of BS!
French tennis player Richard Gasquet has been cleared after being accused of cocaine usage.
The Court of Arbitration for Sport has accepted his claim that he tested positive for the drug only after kissing a woman in a Miami nightclub!
The appeals by the World Anti-Doping Agency and International Tennis Federation have been dropped. They wanted Gasquet banned for at least two years. The tennis player says, "I'm absolutely relieved. This is the end of a crazy story. I'm happy to be 100 percent cleared."
The Court found the quantity of cocaine in Gasquet's system to be "minute" causing them to believe that he was "clearly not a regular cocaine user."
We doubt he'll be slutting it up in the club again any time soon!
Sorry, ladies!
[Image via AP Images.]
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I was just wondering.
December 21, 2009 | 06:28 pm
posted by:
mikeinbama
1. Have you been hit on by a straight female?
2. Have you purchases something that you can't afford and wish you could return it?
3. Have you agreed to do something for someone but really dread the thought of falling through with it?
4. Is there someone on your LJ friends list you really want to have a serious relationship?
5. Have you done something at work that borders on being unethical?
6. Are you harboring a secret vice that no one knows about?
7. Do you want to punch someone in the face?
8. Have you had sex with someone and after it was over, you wanted to vomit because it was so horrible?
9. If you switch places with someone on your LJ friends list, who would it be?
10. What are you getting yourself for Christmas?
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But…
December 21, 2009 | 03:00 pm
posted by:
icanhaschzbrgr

But…I liked your pant leg better…..
Picture by: dannie nunez Caption by: techno_cat via Advanced Lol Builder

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Barbara's New Beau!!!
December 21, 2009 | 11:45 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Good for you!
Barbara Walters has still got it, even when she's pushing the start of 80!
Sources are saying that Bab's brought Frank Langella to the Literary Lions dinner at the Public Library after also being spotted together in Washington for the Kennedy Center Honors.
There's just one little problem - Frank just happens to be the former lover of Bab's co-star on The View, Whoopi Goldberg.
Uh-oh! Things gonna get a little dicey on ABC! Bring on the granny cat fight!!!
[Image via WENN.]
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Terrible Acting Courtesy Of Kristen Stewart
December 21, 2009 | 11:30 pm
posted by:
perezhilton
This is so bad, we thought we might cry.
Here's Kristen Stewart with a lisp and a southern accent in her new flick, The Yellow Handkerchief. (above)
At least she didn't bit her lip.
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Kate Gosselin Wants To Dance With The Stars
December 21, 2009 | 11:15 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

We're going to lose what little respect we do have for her if she actually goes through with this!
During a recent guest appearance on The Jay Leno Show, Kate Gosselin revealed that if she were to return to reality TV, she would like to be on Dancing With The Stars!
Ugh! Please, no!
She told Jay:
"Yes, 'Dancing with the Stars' because I cannot dance," she said. "I want to laugh at myself. I so cannot dance. It would be a sad sight."
Hilarious, but then who would take care of your children?! You've just gotten them out of the reach of your deadbeat ex-husband. Now you want to give them back to him!
[Image via WENN.]
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Rugby Player Gareth Thomas Comes Out
December 21, 2009 | 11:00 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

After splitting from his wife and teenage sweetheart 3 years ago, Lions rugby player Gareth Thomas has finally admitted he's gay.
Says the rugby player:
"I was like a ticking bomb. I thought I could suppress it, keep it locked away in some dark corner of myself, but I couldn't. It was who I was, and I just couldn't ignore it any more."
His biggest concern was what his teammates and friends would think, but to his surprise it didn't matter to them.
Now, Gareth is going public with his sexuality and hopes it'll help others explaining:
"It's been really tough for me, hiding who I really am, and I don't want it to be like that for the next young person who wants to play rugby, or some frightened young kid…I want to send a positive message to other gay people that they can do it, too."
Good for him!
Hopefully others will see Gareth as a role model for the gay community!
[Image via Getty Images.]
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hawt couture Brawnyman
December 21, 2009 | 03:12 pm
posted by:
badgerpdx
I is a contradiction in terms.
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Look! We Know Famous People!
December 21, 2009 | 10:45 pm
posted by:
perezhilton
Usually, wedding announcements are all about the bride and groom.
These folks made it about Will Ferrell!
CLICK HERE to check out the announcement for Mr. & Mrs. Trying To Be Famous By Association!
Who knew being a PA had so many perks!
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Tiger Woods Voted PGA Player Of The Year
December 21, 2009 | 10:30 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Well, congratu-effing-lations!
Tiger Woods was voted PGA Player of the Year by a vote from his fellow pro golfers. PGA Commissioner Timothy Finchem says:
"The recognition by [his] peers is one of the highest compliments a PGA Tour member can receive."
Well at least the golf community still respects him, but that's about it!
[Image via Daniel Deme / WENN.]
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Live! With Regis Nick Jonas & Kelly
December 21, 2009 | 10:22 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Joe Jonas better find himself a new career and quick. With his older brother now a married man and this news that Nick Jonas is breaking into TV, what is left for him to do?!
With Regis Philbin finally feeling his age, several male celebrities have been stepping in to fill-in for him on his off days. Nick is the latest to join that group of gents as the producers of Live! With Regis and Kelly have just signed him on to guest host on January 8th.
Set your TIVOS Jonas lovers.
How do U think he will do?
[Image via WENN.]
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Polanski Gets DENIED!
December 21, 2009 | 10:15 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Good!
Roman Polanski's bid to have his case dismissed has been rejected by a California appeals court with the justices saying that they are still "deeply concerned" about the allegations against the director for raping a 13-year-old girl in 1977.
The court's opinion reads:
"We encourage all participating parties to do their utmost to ensure that this matter now draws to a close in a manner that fully addresses the issues of due process and fundamental fairness raised by the events of long ago.
"The passage of more time before this case's final resolution will further hamper the search for truth and the delivery of any appropriate relief, and it will also prolong the agony that the lack of finality in this matter continues to cause Samantha Geimer [the victim]."
You can't buy your way out of this one, Roman!
It's time to face the music!
[Image via WENN.]
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Rascism doesn't exist anymore
December 21, 2009 | 06:08 pm
posted by:
american_geist in
politicartoons
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5 Things That Made Alaina Reed Hall Awesome
December 21, 2009 | 10:56 pm
posted by:
bestweekever
This weekend, while the world was shocked by the untimely death of one of Hollywood’s most sweetly admired starlets, another celebrity death rocked us to our emotional childhood core. Alaina Reed Hall, an actress whose face you have seen in dozens of shows but whose name never become household, passed away at the all too young age of 63 from breast cancer.
Today, we take a look back at Alaina’s life-altering career, in a list we had no choice but to call 5 Things That Made Alaina Reed Hall Awesome.
5. She Was Mary’s Sassy BFF Rose on 227. 227 might be one of the funniest, most underrated shows from the 1990s, specifically one that centered around a stoop. And Alaina was at the center of the neighborhood drama, as Mary’s best friend Rose. Her work was unforgettable, and as this 227 minisode proves, hilarious. Take 5 minutes to watch as Maaaaary tries to set Rose up with her brother, only to have Soooondra steal him away.
4. She Was Married to Predator. It takes a pretty awesome woman to be in love to the Predator, played by the 7′2″ Kevin Peter Hall. He was also Harry in Harry and the Henderson’s, natch.

3. She Nearly Hosted The Greatest Cooking Show of Our Time. It appears as though this show never fully came to fruition. But let it be known that if some genius had had the sense to produce and develop “A Whole Lotta Soul,” Alaina’s soul food cooking show, we would have gladly watched and, as a result, gained roughly 50 pounds. Notable moments include 1:20’s “Girrrl!” and 2:01’s notable “*Grunt*.”
2. She Is The Only Actress To Have Appeared on Both Herman’s Head (in 1992) and Blossom (in 1993). Guess what these two things have in common?
Well if you read the sentence preceding that question, you would know that the answer is this:

According to our 1990’s Automatic Fame Algorithm, this puts Alaina somewhere in between John Stamos and the movie Ladybugs in terms of “Huge Deals.”
1. Two Words: Sesame Street. No lie, as I was searching Youtube for videos of Alaina as Olivia (Gordon’s younger sister) on Sesame Street, I found the following video of her performing “Sing!” alongside a deaf woman. And as God is my witness, I started to softly weep in a Geisha-like way I didn’t even know I was capable of.
On the brighter side, we’ve also found this incredible video from yesteryear of a handfull of muppet cows singing “Proud to Be a Cow,” featuring Olivia and a voice we think might be Mrs. Doubtfire.
In the meantime, we’ve spent the better half of our afternoon crying over Sesame Street clips, such as Big Bird learning of Mr. Hooper’s passing, and Big Bird singing at Jim Henson’s funeral. Yes, you will cry, you can be sure of that. But moments like these also remind you that the creators and actors who helped bring the Muppets and Sesame Street to life for you as a child have also led fulfilling, meaningful lives of their own partly as a result. Who even knows what I’m talking about, I’m sobbing under fluorescent lighting.
Alaina Reed Hall, you will be missed. <3
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A Strong Bond
December 21, 2009 | 05:58 pm
posted by:
boy_london

Getting over someone is not always an easy task. I tried to get over Mike since the beginning of this year. Since we both were in open relationships we started seeing each other on the summer of 2007, then I broke up with my BF on December 2008 and he broke up with his BF on January 2009, then he started dating someone else while I was living in Toronto, it sounds like a mess, and I guess it was.
On April 2009 I started dating Simon for 7 months, and hope to get over Mike, but the relationship with Simon wasn't what I was looking for, we were more like fuck buddies.
During that time Mike came up to my mind a few times, and sometimes we wrote e-mails to each other, because we wanted to stay in contact, even if each other had someone in our lives. Then in October 12 I decided to delete him from my FB friends, because seeing his posts didn't help me to get over him, specially when I saw any pic where the other guy was in. I let him know and decided to cut any communication with him, to help me face reality.
He send me a note acknowledging his mistake and hoping the best for me. That was it! I was going to be happy and free! or at least that is what I tought. It was hard to cut contact because what we had was very strong.
I broke up with Simon on Nov 17, and we stayed as friends (I always prefer a smooth break-up) Last Wednesday I got an e-mail from Michael, he told me that he misses me, then one minute after he sends another message telling me how sorry he felt about it and that he doesn't want to play with fire, and to dismiss the note and don't answer back. Of course I answered back, telling him staight the way I felt, that I don't want to play with fire either, but that we should communicate and try to sort this out and move on, togheter or not.
It is obvious that we had very strong feelings for each other (and maybe still have them) and that we need to stay in contact with each other. I believe that we can be good friends and need each other (maybe we both want more than that, but need time to work this this out)
One thing I am sure of is that we have a really strong bond.
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Eurostar Train No More!
December 21, 2009 | 10:00 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Great timing!
Eurostar Trains is on everyone's holiday shit list right now as they have just announced they are shutting down their services indefinitely! How fortunate for all the folks looking to travel through Europe this Christmas!
After the disastrous incident this weekend that found more than 2,000 passengers trapped inside their trains for more 15 hours, the company decided to suspend their travel routes in order to look over the mechanics and design of their trains. Though they explained that the "glitch" was caused by "acute weather conditions northern France," and after some testing, the trains ran smoothly, they are stillinsistent on holding off any travel until major upgrades can be done to their system.
The cancellation has forced more than about 31,000 people in Britain, France and Belgium to find alternative transportation for the holidays and considering the terrible weather conditions they are facing right now, that won't be easy!
That just sucks! We truly do feel bad for all those people! Certainly, it isn't the time of year in which you want to be stranded!
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R.I.P.
December 21, 2009 | 09:52 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

It's a sad day on the street.
Alaina Reed Hall, of Sesame Street and 227 fame, has passed away on Dec 17 after a long battle with breast cancer. In addition to her work on the little screen, Alaina was best known on the Great White Way for originating the role of Matron Mama Morton in Chicago.
We send our condolences to her family and friends.
[Image via WENN.]
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What The Hell?!?
December 21, 2009 | 09:45 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Saturday Night Live has announced that retired basketball star Charles Barkley will be hosting the first show of 2010 on January 9th.
Really Lorne!? Were all the other celebs still on vacation?
The last time Sir Charles hosted the show was in 1993 with musical guest Nirvana.
Hopefully SNL will have better hosts throughout the year.
Will U be tuning in???
[Image via HRC/WENN.]
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Friends Say Brittany Had "A Lot Of Inner Demons"
December 21, 2009 | 09:30 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Poor girl! We still haven't escaped the shock of this and the more her close friends come out and talk about her, the more we wonder how much the world really didn't know about Brittany Murphy.
Rumors of troubles with eating disorders and drug abuse aren't really news to us, but they seem to the leading theories behind her demise. Her close friends say that she suffered from "a lot of inner demons."
Clueless director Amy Heckerling believes that the root of her problems came from her poor body image, which many have originated from the set of their film. Amy says:
"She seemed to go through a change on Clueless. Maybe she felt like she was not the, like, skinny, pretty girl, you know? And then the next few movies she was, you know, thinner, blonde … going out with Eminem and Ashton Kutcher."
Another close friend and source agreed, saying:
"A lot of her problems were due to poor self image. She wore extraordinary amounts of makeup, tons of fake eyelashes, got her teeth capped, dyed her hair blonde, lost weight – she wanted to be a beauty. She didn't want to be the fat girl from Clueless. She didn't eat a lot. She would drink copious amounts of coffee."
Doesn't sound like much of a life, does it?
The worst of it was that in the end, she was only hurting herself and her career as other sources claimed she was "unfocused" on the set of her films and one insider on her most recent indie flick, Something Wicked, claimed that Murphy "was barely there … She'd go in and out of consciousness in the middle of takes."
Wow. How very sad.
Much, much too young to have gone this way, but it just goes to show how hard the Hollywood life is for some!
[Image via WENN.]
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INTERNET WOES TURNED TO SMILES
December 21, 2009 | 02:17 pm
posted by:
chrisinseattle
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Prezident cat
December 21, 2009 | 12:00 pm
posted by:
icanhaschzbrgr

Prezident cat iz safe
ill take a bullet 4 u anyday. (via IHAH)
picture: dunno source, via our lolcat builder. lol caption: n0s

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So Much For Not Being On The Rocks
December 21, 2009 | 09:15 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Spending Christmas separated doesn't instill a lot of confidence in the marriage if you ask us!
We're hearing Cheryl Cole will be without her hubby on Friday! Soccer star Ashley Cole will apparently be opting to train on Christmas Day in preparation for his team's match on Saturday.
He's going to train all day? Couldn't fit in a few hours for your WIFE, Ashley???
Cheryl is putting up a brave face, saying she is looking forward to spending the holiday with her family and her dogs.
Doesn't sound like much of a marriage to us!
[Image via WENN.]
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More True Blood Casting News!
December 21, 2009 | 09:00 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

This time Jason Stackhouse is getting a new somethin' somethin'!
Lindsay Pulsipher of The Beast has been cast as Crystal, a new love interest for Ryan Kwanten's characters Jason in the upcoming season of HBO's True Blood.
The twosome apparently share an "electric connection."
HOT!
We're getting more and more excited for the third season, but it's still SO far away!
[Image via WENN.]
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Auschwitz Sign Found!
December 21, 2009 | 08:45 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

But not in its original condition.
Polish authorities have recovered the historical sign reading "Arbeit Macht Frei" from the Auschwitz museum that was stolen over the weekend, but it was found cut in to three pieces!
The police have detained 5 suspects between the ages of 25 and 39 and they were all taken to Krakow, Poland for questioning.
Museum spokesman Pawel Sawicki has said that conservation experts are working on how to best repair the sign and return it to its rightful place.
We're glad the important piece of history has been found, but the people responsible for its theft and damage should be punished and TRULY ashamed of themselves!
[Image via AP Images.]
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The Quacks Are On The Run!!!
December 21, 2009 | 08:30 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

WE TOLD YOU!!!
This morning, Randy Quaid and his wife Evi were set free from jail after being arrested over the weekend. As we foresaw, the couple quickly hightailed it out of Texas, with a packed car and no word as to where they were going!
The mayor of the town, of all people, saw the couple packing their things into their car and quickly leaving the town as soon as they were free. City mayor Daniel Dunlap explained:
“They were both released from jail after posting bail and we saw them packing-up some belongings into their car and driving off. They had not been in the town for a long time but just turned up out of the blue recently just before they were arrested. We had to tow their large truck from outside their building because we wanted to paint some new parking lines and word must have got out to them because they came back to get the truck. It doesn’t look like they are going to be in Marfa over Christmas and the New Year now and I cannot say what will happen to them in the future."
Someone better find them quick, before Mexico has itself two new citizens!
[Image via WENN.]
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The final score
December 21, 2009 | 01:51 pm
posted by:
dropkickpuppy
At any rate, my GPA is now at least a 4.1. Not that I would ever put that on a resume or law school application, but it's nice to have that buffer in case I bomb calculus or my upper-division statistics courses.
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Marilyn Manson Settles Lawsuit
December 21, 2009 | 08:15 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Marilyn Manson has settled a lawsuit from former bandmate Stephen Bier (aka Madonna Wayne Gacy) who sued Manson for breach of contract asking for $20 million in LA Superior Court back in 2007.
Bier claimed in the lawsuit that Manson used money from their band partnership for personal use, including buying gifts for ex-wife Dita Von Teese.
Manson countersued saying that Bier breached the contract by not "fully participating" in master recordings, concert performances and helping in selling merch. That was dropped in January of 2009.
The twosome finally reached a settlement for an undisclosed amount.
Bier's lawyers are also filing a lien for unpaid attorney fees now that he received a settlement.
The dramz are always present in Marilyn's life!
[Image via WENN.]
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Avatar Has A Disappointing Opening Weekend!
December 21, 2009 | 08:00 pm
posted by:
perezhilton
![]()
There's $500 million dollars shot to hell!
The most expensive movie ever made has FAILED at the box office.
To be fair, for any other flick, it would have been a rather impressive opening. But considering the $$$ and time put into this thing, we expected a lot more.
James Cameron's Avatar raked in a mere $73 million dollars in it's opening weekend here in the states. (It did a little better worldwide- $232.2 million.)
To put that into perspective for you - New Moon earned $72.7 million dollars in it's FIRST DAY of release, pulling in $125 million domestically over it's opening weekend.
Then again, it didn't have a blizzard on the East Coast to compete with. (Although, we gather there isn't much that would keep a Twi-hard from seeing their fave vamp and werewolf!)
Here's hoping they'll bring in some much needed funds throughout the week!
Did any of U see the flick?
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Everyone But Elin Knew Tiger Was Cheating
December 21, 2009 | 07:45 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

And she can thank blabbing ho Julie Postle for making it a known fact in Tiger Woods' Orlando neighborhood.
According to Julie's bitter ex-boyfriend the two year affair between her and Tiger was an open secret since Julie couldn't resist bragging about her celebrity hook-up.
But after two years, the tryst eventually got old.
A source says the golfer "was married and she had a regular boyfriend. She said Tiger was always calling her and texting her, wanting to get together and she got tired of it."
But don't worry. Julie was able to ca$$$h in on someone else.
She's currently living in Texas with a young RICH guy.
$lut!
[Image via Getty Images.]
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SuBo Tapped To Record Next Bond Song!
December 21, 2009 | 07:30 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Wow, she must be honored!
Susan Boyle is in the running to record the next theme song for the upcoming James Bond movie with Daniel Craig, due out in 2011.
Monty Norman, composer of the 007 theme music, says, "They'll think seriously because she's got the right kind of sweeping voice," and Lee Pfeiffer, co-author of The Essential James Bond book agrees, saying that SuBo would be "a throwback to those great days when the likes of Dame Shirley Bassey would be asked to sing."
Her popularity continues to rise — her debut album has already sold 2 million copies worldwide making it the fastest-selling female debut album EVER!
You go, SuBo!
[Image via WENN.]
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No Foul Play Suspected In Brittany Murphy's Death
December 21, 2009 | 07:15 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

In their preliminary investigation the LAPD has determined that no foul play or other criminality occurred in the death of actress Brittany Murphy.
The police are now waiting on the autopsy results from the L.A. County Coroner in which case they may investigate further if there is reasonable cause to do so.
The autopsy is currently being conducted by the Coroner.
We'll keep you posted…
[Image via Fame Pictures.]
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Is It True? Carrie Underwood Engaged?!
December 21, 2009 | 07:00 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Yes!
Her soon-to-be hubby confirmed it!
Carrie Underwood is now engaged to her hockey hunk Mike Fischer, who confirmed the news during a press conference before his game today. He told the press that he popped the question yesterday afternoon and Carrie said yes! He then said, "We're both obviously excited and very happy."
We're pretty excited as well!
Congrats to you both! We'll be anxiously awaiting our invite to the wedding!
[Image via WENN.]
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Amy's Baby Bump!
December 21, 2009 | 06:45 pm
posted by:
perezhilton


She makes a cute little pregnant lady!
Amy Adams was spotted out with her fiance Darren Le Gallo in El Lay over the weekend who are expecting a baby together.
We think they'll make one good-looking baby — that guy is HOT!
[Image via National Photo Group.]
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[SP] Why Just Before Curtain
December 21, 2009 | 07:38 pm
posted by:
someposifeed
If there are any problems with the comic or website, or if you have any questions, comments, or complaints you would like to address directly to Randy, please email him at choochoobear@gmail.com.
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Those Evil, Terrorist Loving "Libruls"
December 21, 2009 | 01:28 pm
posted by:
dwer in
politicartoons
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Japan Remains Light Years Ahead Of Us With New “Chop Sticks Spoon” Device
December 21, 2009 | 06:00 pm
posted by:
bestweekever
Behold, Spoon Chopsticks: A solution for everyone who’s been trying to eat soup by throwing a single chop stick at it while singing Blur’s “Song 2″ (i.e., everyone)…

Now if only there were an easier tool for eating non-liquid food — perhaps some sort of four-pronged stabbing device that’s also capable of scooping? We could call it a Blaxnorffff. Also it would shoot lasers.
After the jump, see this so-called “Spoon” (named after the band?) in action:

I believe the applicable Apu quote would be…
You’ve got to start charging more than a dollar a bag… we lost three more men on this expedition!
If you can think of a better way to get ice, I’d like to hear it.
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Doperty Arrested AGAIN!
December 21, 2009 | 06:30 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

They should just keep a room reserved for him!
Pete Doherty is behind bars AGAIN for drug possession! The singer was charged this morning and escorted to a Gloucester, England station.
The best part - he was arrested only moments after leaving his court hearing for another charge!
Excellent!
The drugs have really done wonders for your cognitive decision-making skills!
[Image via WENN.]
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Madonna & Clooney????
December 21, 2009 | 06:15 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Once upon of time!
Right after Madonna split from Guy Ritchie, sources are saying that Madonna tried to land herself the silver-fox, George Clooney. The two apparently went on a dinner date…and it was disastrous!
The source says that George wasn't feeling Madonna's humor or small talk and really couldn't "wait to get out of there."
Yikes! We couldn't imagine not loving some one-on-one time with Madge!
[Image via FayesVision/WENN.]
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Catherine Flashes Some Boob!
December 21, 2009 | 06:00 pm
posted by:
perezhilton

Ow! Ow!
Catherine Zeta-Jones flashed some lucky audience members during her Broadway show, A Little Night Music!
Her character is reunited with an old flame and opens her robe to show him the goods — and some of the audience on the left side of the orchestra! An audience member said:
"I couldn't believe it. No wonder Michael Douglas looks so happy. The couple sitting next to me also saw it and poked each other."
Hot!
We loves us a bit of nudity in the thea-tah!
[Image via Joseph Marzullo / WENN.]
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Brittany Died Of Same Drugs As MJ???
December 21, 2009 | 05:45 pm
posted by:
perezhilton
Pals of Brittany Murphy are coming forward with some pretty shocking accusations against the fallen actress. There are some who are insisting that the actress was hooked on painkillers, similar to the ones that aided in the death of Michael Jackson.
The sources say after a series of plastic surgery operations, Brittany became addicted to Vicodin, a drug often used by MJ. The source told the press:
"We have been very worried something like this was about to happen. Brittany has been living life on the edge. She definitely had a drug problem and we have all begged her to seek help. Sadly our words fell on deaf ears."
As hard as it might be to admit it, we can't help but believe this is true. No healthy, drug-free 32-year-old dies of a heart attack without a little help.
So sad.
[Image via WENN.]
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Reese And The Kids Go Toy Shopping!
December 21, 2009 | 05:30 pm
posted by:
perezhilton



Probably to get their minds off of Jake Gyllenhaal!
After her recent break-up, Reese Witherspoon went into mommy mode over the weekend and took her children Ava and Deacon to a toy store in Brentwood to get into the Christmas spirit.
Ava and Deacon were even spotted giving each other a big hug while waiting for mom Reese to check out!
Awww!
And Ava is growing up to look JUST like her mother!
[Image via Fame Pictures.]
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Fall
December 21, 2009 | 12:36 pm
posted by:
bearnight
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Christmas shopping....Done.... sorta
December 21, 2009 | 12:12 pm
Music: David Bowie - Life on Mars?
posted by:
magebear
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CHRISTMAS NINJA
December 21, 2009 | 09:00 am
posted by:
icanhaschzbrgr

CHRISTMAS NINJA Santa doesn’t stand a chance
Picture by: Heather M. Caption by: Dior via Our LOL Builder

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Standings After 3 Bowl Games......by the way, Southern Miss sucks!
December 21, 2009 | 12:00 pm
posted by:
mikeinbama
1 | kellystern 1, K. Stern | 3-0 |
|
| 99 |
2 | DavidDust 1, D. Dust | 2-1 |
|
| 58 |
3 | nlions1978 1, C. Heintzelman | 2-1 |
|
| 45 |
4 | xtex404, J. Matlock | 1-2 |
|
| 34 |
5 | daneboy712 1, D. Hites | 1-2 |
|
| 33 |
5 | cpa092075 1, C. Aldridge | 1-2 |
|
| 33 |
5 | joerioslv 1, J. Rios | 1-2 |
|
| 33 |
5 | Whatuttercrap, M. Watson | 1-2 |
|
| 33 |
5 | neo-prodigy 1, D Upkins | 1-2 |
|
| 33 |
5 | PDQA 1, P Holman | 1-2 |
|
| 33 |
5 | brettford7579 1, B. Wellman | 1-2 |
|
| 33 |
5 | anfcollege 1, L Wagner | 1-2 |
|
| 33 |
5 | brettcajun 1, B. Prejean | 1-2 |
|
| 33 |
5 | thebrainyu@gmail.com 1, | 1-2 |
|
| 33 |
15 | MBorghese 1, M. Borghese | 1-2 |
|
| 32 |
15 | imahoot78 1, R. Broadway | 1-2 |
|
| 32 |
17 | gburgan@yahoo.com 1, G. Burgan | 1-2 |
|
| 31 |
18 | Damazcus 1, J. Damazcus | 1-2 |
|
| 29 |
19 | Cleiss22 1, B Williams | 1-2 |
|
| 25 |
20 | CoastalSatyr 1, S. McQ | 1-2 |
|
| 23 |
21 | legolas018 1, F Duke | 1-2 |
|
| 15 |
22 | rhall1977 1, R. Hall | 1-2 |
|
| 13 |
23 | chase_acow 1, R. chaseacow | 1-2 |
|
| 4 |
24 | LJmikeinbama , M. White | 1-2 |
|
| 1 |
24 | mdnghtrjr 1, K. Le | 1-2 |
|
| 1 |
26 | bender772 1, B. Collyer | 0-3 |
|
| 0 |
26 | 2manynotesLJ 1, J. Nytch | 0-3 |
|
| 0 |
26 | megatronbomb 1, C. Estes | 0-3 |
|
| 0 |
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